Rachel Hamilton

Author | Writer | Traveler | Child of God | Kiwi Girl


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Next Stop Africa

As I prepare to move to Uganda in December this song holds so much meaning.
So many moments in my life are adding up to the moment I step foot in Africa.
Years of nannying and childcare will help me care for these darling babies.
Years of dreaming about Africa and feeling God’s quiet voice say “I’m sending you to Africa just not yet.”
I can’t believe this desire of my heart is coming true.
Even the smallest details God has taken care of.
Everything is falling into place, God is providing for all my needs.
A chance meeting on Instagram connected me to a girl who is going to volunteer at Watoto the same time as me.
Did God do that? I know he did.
Airfares cheaper than I thought they would be.
God at work again.
Truly overwhelmed by God’s faithfulness.
Friend, God sees the desires of your heart and he is faithful.
He cares about the smallest details.
Even the sparrow knows, He holds tomorrow.


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Uniquness

 

I pray you are not ashamed of the real you.

I love genuine people comfortable with their own crazy.

Daily I am falling deeper in love with my crazy.

Some people are not going to get you, but darling trust me, someone is praying for someone like you.

The older I get, the more I am embracing the things that make me, me.

We dont have to justify who we are to anyone.

God has made you to stand out and shine, and darling you do it so well.

Keep shining, your uniquness is wonderful.

Please dont believe the lies that you have to change to loved, wanted, chossen.

Christ created you as a one off work of art with such a great price.

Darling your crazy makes me me smile, I love it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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Online Friendships

For the past three years I have run an online ministry. I have had the huge honour of reaching 1000s of people on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Receiving hundreds of emails, becoming  friends with people all over the world.

The friendships I have made through my social media ministry are not random. God has handpicked each one of you to be my friend.

So much kindness you have shown to me.

All the love and support I recived from you all, when I published my first book.

The year I was very sick and found out I have Rheumatoid arthritis, you lifted my head and give me strength through your kind words and support.

When I share  personal things from my heart, I receive such wonderful messages saying how much my honesty meant to you.

So thank you, with all my heart for your kindness and support theses past years.

Maybe you are reading this and you haven’t been friends with me very long.

I am so thankful we have become friends and I look forward to the years to come.

My friends, I treasure you. ❤️


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Empty.

Empty.

That’s how I feel. Unable to give encouragement and support to those around who I love so dearly.

Unworthy to be thought of as someone great. I am no woman of faith. I want to strengthen those around me but I feel I have nothing to give.

So I hide away, keep the struggle to myself.

God can’t use me in my broken place, people want to hear words of comfort, words of hope, they can’t see me like this.

I have so many beautiful hurting friends they need me, I can’t be fragile like this.

I hate how my pain has overwhelmed me.

I hear people tell me to be a witness, do my part to bring God’s hope.

I have failed.

I am a wretched mess on the ground.

Jesus, help me see that in this broken place you can use me.

Lift my heavy shoulders and help me see the light.

Hold those who I can not hold right now with your love.

Let me understand that in my weakness you shine brightest.


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Trust Issues

Jesus.

I blame you for not stepping in. I shouldn’t but I hold you responsible for my pain.

I’m sorry.

Deep down I know that you are the one that holds me in the darkest hours.

You helped me up when the abuse left me a shaking mess on the floor.

You held me when the shame of my kindness and love was rejected by the one not worthy of it.

Please understand I don’t like this  chasm my trust issues have created between us.

I’m trying to build a bridge.

This darkness holds me apart from your loving arms.

I read my bible but the  words can’t penetrate the wall I have built.

But thank you, Jesus my hope and peace is that you understand how I feel, you felt rejected you when you hung on the cross.

You understand that pain makes us hurt the ones that love us the most because we know they will care enough to come after us.

I see you destroying chains of pain that hold me back.

Words can’t describe how thankful I am for a God who understands my feelings when I can’t understand myself.

 


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Little Girl.

So cute, her face bright with innocence, she pulled at my hand begging to show me something special, we did not speak the same language but we shared an understanding.

Her short brown hair, her cheeky grin, I saw me, the little girl with boundless energy.

We were visiting one of the prevention homes, places where children come if they are at risk of being forced into slavery and sexual exploitation.

This beautiful angel was protected from such evil, praise God for that.

Her eyes so alive, her heart so undamaged.

We sat on a blanket in the sun and she began creating me a feast of plastic food.

My heart rejoiced as I covered my pretend pizza in imaginary tomato sauce.

This was so pure and right, a child free to be a child.

This beautiful girl has become my motivation, my inspiration.

I want to do my part to see children run in fields of freedom, to protect and nurture innocence.

I pray with all my heart that I always do my part.

Find out more at Destiny Rescue


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Jesus

She sit under a tree and thinks about him.

How her heart skips a beat every time he says her name.

His love is pure and unending.

She remembers the first time he held her hand, so gentle, so kind.

But like a selfish child she often turns away, pretending he is not there, searching for his face in those around her, those who give her false attention.

She sees the couples sitting around her holding plastic valentine roses, the girls blushing with joy.

If he truly loved her he would give her flowers, why is she the only one with empty hands.

So she doubts his love, questions his goodness.

Hours pass, those around her pack up and leave, she is left alone feeling so forgotten so unloved.

Then she sees him, his face more handsome than she remembered, his eyes so understanding,

“My darling” he whispers “I know you have waited so long, I know you almost give up hope, I know you doubted my love, but I was preparing wonderful things for you.”

I did not give you a plastic flower because I was planting a rose garden for you.

“You worth is so great that I wanted to give you the very best.”

And as he gathered her up in his arms, she whispered his name “Jesus”.

Depression.. 

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I suffer with depression.

For so long I lied to myself that I didn’t but the reality is I do.

I have nights where I lie in bed and feel utterly hopeless and empty and that my life is all for nothing.

I don’t tell anyone, terrified they’ll judge me, tell me again that I have no reason to feel this way. I come from a good loving family, people have it much worse than me.

I’m deeply ashamed that I feel theses feelings.

So I keep quiet, locking the box of emotions up, only opening it in the safety of my dark room, letting the silent tears flow.

People tell me in a Christians life there is no room for depression because God fills us, but no matter how much I beg God to overflow in me I still feel the ache.

The truth is depression is one of the most challenging emotions we ever feel.

I have found freedom in accepting the fact I struggle with depression and understanding why I sometimes feel this way.

Through depression God has taught me to run to his arms first, he is the only one who reaches me in the deep valleys, Jesus knows the pain, he felt so much anguish his sweat was like drops of blood, he knows the reasons  why I ache even when I don’t.

Dear friend,

If you struggle with secret depression, please know I understand and care, you are so brave and strong, you are not messed up or crazy. God holds you and collects your tears every one of them. If you ever need prayer, a friend or just a listening ear email me anytime at rachysblogs@gmail.com

Your feelings matter.

You matter.


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In This Stillness.

I am so empty.

Have you let me run dry so I see I am nothing without you, my God?

Does this desert land teach me to lay down my plans, desires, hopes and dreams for your inspection?

I feel the loneliness acutely, the sleepless nights force me to face my imperfections and failures and shattered plans.

My broken dreams are not ungodly, they consist of worthy pursuits, reaching the lost, healing the hurting, touching the world for you.

But you have asked me to stay.

How do I accept this place you’ve called me to be.

Give me a sign, let me know you’re proud of me.

Teach me to surrender everything at your feet.

Help me find fulfilment right here, right now.

In this lonely place, reveal your heart, I want to be like you.

 

 

 


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Dear Brave Lonely One.

I see you.

How amazing you are,

but somewhere along the way someone told you a lie and you believed it.

You were told that you lacked worth and value, you were handed a poisoned apple of self-hate and you ate it core and all.

I feel your pain like it was my own, see the thin mask you wear trying to act so strong but alone in a dark room, crying yourself to sleep.

How I wish I could reach you, wash your fragile heart with the truth.

The truth that you are valued, amazing, wonderful, important.

Set apart, seen, loved, cherished.

I pray for you, believing one day you will know your true worth.