Rachel Hamilton

Author | Writer | Traveler | Child of God | Kiwi Girl

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Trust Issues


I blame you for not stepping in. I shouldn’t but I hold you responsible for my pain.

I’m sorry.

Deep down I know that you are the one that holds me in the darkest hours.

You helped me up when the abuse left me a shaking mess on the floor.

You held me when the shame of my kindness and love was rejected by the one not worthy of it.

Please understand I don’t like this  chasm my trust issues have created between us.

I’m trying to build a bridge.

This darkness holds me apart from your loving arms.

I read my bible but the  words can’t penetrate the wall I have built.

But thank you, Jesus my hope and peace is that you understand how I feel, you felt rejected you when you hung on the cross.

You understand that pain makes us hurt the ones that love us the most because we know they will care enough to come after us.

I see you destroying chains of pain that hold me back.

Words can’t describe how thankful I am for a God who understands my feelings when I can’t understand myself.