Rachel Hamilton

Author | Writer | Traveler | Child of God | Kiwi Girl

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To Those Who Share Their Struggles With Me.


You wonder why you cry easily.

You question why you feel things so deeply.

You wish you could be like the rest who seem to shake off the pain.

Depression is never far away.

You hate yourself.

Lovely friend, who you are is no mistake.

How deep you feel has a reason and purpose.

God created you perfectly just the way you are.

God is going to use you in truly amazing ways.

God is going to use you to reach people in ways that few people can.

Your kindness and empathy will bring healing to many.

You are here for a reason.




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The Cost.

No one talks about the price. No one tells you how much religion costs.

As Christian’s we have become so scared that we will turn away people if we were truly honest about how painful being a believer is.

Or maybe we are afraid of those who we sit beside at church. Terrified if they truly knew our heart they would change seats because being a Christian means there is no room for depression, sorrow, pain, we should be so overflowing with Christ that there is no room for that.

We have become so afraid to post online about a book  God spoke to us through because someone will say “Joyce Meyers a false prophet, or Joel Osteen is evil, how can you call yourself a believer when you find comfort in those lies.”

We walk around chained down by shame, condemnation and  guilt, the restrictions of religion we proudly call ourselves members of.


Have we forgotten that Jesus died to bring us freedom?

Have we forgotten that God uses everything to bring him glory.

Jesus cried, he knew pain, rejection, sorrow, and tempation.

Jesus did not send his time with the proud religous but those broken and in need of him.

True Christianty is built on relationship, a place we show vulnerability and need of a savior. A place where we find freedom, hope, understanding and love.

I want no part in a religion that we walk around wearing masks of perfection, just obeying rules and trying to earn our way to heaven.

But I will give my life to a King who died so I could be forever in fellowship with him. Who walked into deep waters of pain, shame and rejection so I could find freedom.

For a relationship with Christ, no cost is too high.



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This  has been hard for me to write. I have spent hours staring at my computer screen.

I wanted to write about perfection and I’m struggling to put pen to paper. Coincidence I think not.

My Mum has given me a lot of advice over the years, and one thing that stuck with me is the words. “Rachel if a jobs worth doing it’s worth doing badly.

I hear you say “Wow that doesn’t sound right.”

Let me explain, I’m not talking about being a lazy employee, I’m talking about any ambition, goal or project you may have started. Maybe it’s an art project, a book you want to publish, renovation of a house, even a crazy new invention.

It’s so easy to get overwhelmed by perfection. Everywhere we look we are told to be perfect. Must have perfect grades, perfect family. Always aim for the glamorous career. Must look like the model in the magazine.

Perfection has stolen so much, our joy, our freedom. So many hopes and desires have died because of the fear of failure.

So we never follow our dreams, or we get half way and give up because it’s not picture perfect.

I often wonder how many of the great inventions were originally planned to be something else. How many inventions never finished because they didn’t match the inventers idea of perfect.

What if the famous paintings were disappointments to the artists and we have missed out on many great works of art because they were destroyed because the search for perfection was just to high.

A couple of years ago I decided to write a book, I struggle with dyslexia and was told by my teacher in college that I would never get anywhere in life with my spelling, so to write a book seemed imposable. But I decided to give it ago.

It was hard, disheartening and scary.

Words didn’t always flow. Tears were shed.

Paper was thrown.

I struggled with getting my thoughts down, even with understanding myself at times.

I spent days editing and rewriting.

The day my book went live was one of the scariest days of my life.

I knew my book was far from perfect. I knew that even with all the editing, mistakes were going to be found. But it was too important to me to let fear of failure kill my dream. The first time I held my book I was to afraid to read it, incase my imperfections were in permanent ink and they were. But I had succeed because I had finished the project. Completed the race.

People have written me unkind letters, told me they couldn’t review my book because of how much errors they found. But its ok. I am proud that I followed through with my dream.

If something is worth doing it’s worth doing badly. It’s worth the mess. If it’s worth beginning, then its worth finishing even if it doesn’t quite match the picture in your head.

A project worth doing may take longer than you imagine. Many of my dreams and goals I have given up on because I rushed ahead with great energy only to find that they couldn’t be completed in my time frame, so I gave up. Instead of rushing in I should have taken it step by step.

If you have a dream chase it, accept that reality it may look bad, but remember there is success in finishing what you have started.

You may found a hidden talent along the way. You may find that it does turn out perfectly.

Don’t compare your half done job to someone else’s finished product, because you will always end up feeling inferior. I am sure even the greatest works of art looked horrible half way though.

Even if your dream doesn’t turn out the way you imagined , stand tall, be proud of yourself that you had a go.

Sometimes success simply means doing your best and accepting the outcome.