It’s taken me a year and a half to accept my illness.
Accept my daily pain.
Accept that I may struggle with my health for the rest of my life.
People tell me its defeat. That if my faith was stronger I would not be sick.
That God does not want me to be sick.
God doesn’t have any part in sickness, that sickness is from the devil.
Truth is that I see God hand in every area of my pain.
God did not have his head turned when my illness was formed.
He knew my body would start attacking it’s self.
He knows what “autoimmune disease” “chronic pain” means.
He is not deaf to my cries.
Acceptance is not defeat.
Accepting my long term pain doesn’t mean I don’t believe God can heal me.
It doesn’t mean I have lost hope or that I am drowning in self pity.
It means I am learning to walk in the freedom that I have been called by God to carry this burden, walk this path.
It means understanding that doctors appointments, daily pain, frequent blood tests, late night tears and countless prescriptions, are my new normal and that I am still able to smile and rejoice in God’s goodness.
It means embracing life.
*This post is not to complain or say how hard my life is. I have a wonderful amazing life just wanted share that acceptance is not always defeat.